My Flesh May Fail...My God you NEVER will

"Give Me Faith"- Elevation Church

This song has been on re-play for me over the past week and weekend. It has always been one of my favorite worship songs, however this week i have been speaking the words over in my mind more as a reminder to lift my spirit.

You see, the past 5 years have been challenging for me in some ways.About 3 years ago I found out that i had a tear in the labrum of my left hip. For years i had been having problems and pain with it, however i always just pushed it off. In 2009, i was working at a Christian summer camp and my hip locked up on me as i was sitting on a picnic table. The ordeal turned into 7 hours in a sitting position, maneuvering from table to car to Dr's office to hospital and finally back to the camp. This resulted in orthopedic appointments and an MRI. Since then I have seen a physical therapist and hip specialist. The result of it all was being told that i needed surgery to go in and attempt to repair the tear as well as shave off a small piece of the head of my femur to help from the tear re-occurring. Without the surgery, it will only continue to get worse.Currently, I am putting off the surgery and learning how to deal with the tear without making it worse. This means i am limited to some of the activity i can do.

Also, about 2 years ago, i started having a lot of stomach problems. They were chronic and extremely inconvenient. For a while they kept me from really going many places. I worked and came home, ate and went to bed. After many doctor appointments and ruling out various things, all the doctor could tell me was that i had become a number on the list of the many people affected by IBS. (yes i said it)

I was extremely frustrated and exhausted by the fact that i had no control over my body. I felt like my body was what controlled my decisions and schedule. I also could not help but become frustrated at the fact that at the time i was 20-21 years old and i felt i had the problems of an 80 year old. How unfair was that?

Lets fast forward. It is now June of 2013 and I have learned to deal with my physical issues. It's not fun but i am learning new ways to manage. This past week has been a throw back for me which has brought me to writing this today. My stomach problems flared up this past Thursday which seemed to be one of the most painful episodes ever. Also, for the past week my back has been out of whack. Keeping me up during the night and unable to much during the day. All this being said, the one truth that keeps playing over and over again in my mind and heart is " My flesh may Fail, my God you never will". The other day i was led to the  scripture of Paul's thorn which spoke so much truth into my downcast spirit.
2 Cor. 12:6-10
^"6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool,
 because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, 
so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,
⁷ or because of these surpassing great revelations.
 Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited,
 I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.
⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
  ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
 for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
 so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses,
 in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. 
For when I am weak, then I am strong."

As frustrated as i have been over my body, I cant help but rejoice and be reminded that it is through these weaknesses that Christ is glorified. And also, that there is no reason to fear the physical. Whether it be sickness, pain, harassment, abuse,  persecution. If anything, i should fear the Lord who holds the eternal control over my life. Give me sickness, give me pain...one thing that can never be taken from me is the love and peace of Jesus Christ. I want my weakness to become a stone for making myself less and Christ More. I want the power of God to control my problems not the other way around. 

I am so blessed by the reminders of my Heavenly Father. I pray for the strength to give him praise in my weakest moments...no matter how frustrated or OLD i feel.