For the past 6 weeks i have been dealing with a pain in the butt. A nuisance so overwhelming i could scream...in fact i have a few times. I have also cried a little and expressed quiet a few frustrations...So you might be wondering what exactly it is that is bothering me and driving me crazy...well...literally it is a pain in my butt (too much info maybe) . To get this to technical medical point...
I have been having numerous problems with my SI Joint also known as the Sacroiliac Joint...never heard of it?? Neither had I but now if you check my recent computer history or Google search engine on my home computer, cell phone, work computer, and kindle you will find this word over and over. The pain is one of two...it's either dull and discomforting but manageable, not disrupting my daily flow of life...or it is sharp, stabbing, and debilitating bringing me to my knees when i apply any movement or pressure to my right leg. It is in one spot in my lower back/butt area and let me tell you...it's the true definition of "a pain in the butt".
You might be wondering why I am sharing this with the world ( or the 2-3 people that will actually take time to read this) and to be honest...I'm sharing for my own personal record. When i start to thinking, a lot of times i forget to write or journal about it and i eventually forget all about it. I am trying to be more diligent in keeping track of the different thoughts, burdens, and passions that cross my mind. And right now, over the past 6 weeks, i have been trying to rack my brain on what unfathomable epiphany could come from this pain i am experiencing...To be honest...i have not quiet figured it out. The world would say it is life...live and get over it... the Bible says "All things work together for the good of those who love Him" and i am one of those who love Him, therefore i have to believe there is a rhyme and reason for this ailment. That doesn't mean i will ever understand it but it means that i can pray and seek too...
So in saying that a couple of things came to my mind tonight as i was working out...(remember my physical workouts are the expression of much deeper spiritual workouts)... the first thing was the re-occurrence of sin in our lives and overcoming that or succumbing to that. The pain I experience has not always been there. For the past 6 weeks it has been very prevalent but before that, it had been months upon months since i had felt it or known its existence and before that a year probably. It made me think about sin in my life. We all have our struggles...some seasons those struggles are basically invisible...i mean we know they are there but they are so faint we can't see them or feel the pull they have in our lives...then there are others times. Times where the struggle of our sins are so great that they seem to be debilitating to our life. They come at us like sharp unpredictable pains. We try everything but we can not seem to fend them off. Nothing helps...everywhere we turn we are surrounded by the temptation. It keeps up from being who we are outside of that sin. It keeps us from doing things we are called to do by a much Higher Power. It distracts us from what we should be doing and reminds us of all our limitations and failures.
HOWEVER...there is much peace in knowing that...
"13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he
will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the
temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able
to endure it."-
1 Corinthians 10:13
AND...we can't ignore and forget...
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."-
2 Corinthians 12:9
I don't know that this is the Lord's rhyme or reason in my literal pain in the butt...however i do find comfort in the promises of His Word...and right now...this pain is a weakness for me. It's attempting to keep me from being active, healthy, and happy. It distracts me from the needs of others and puts my focus upon myself. I can't say i have mastered this part yet, but i am truly trying to turn my weakness into His strength. I am trying to allow my pain to bring me to the feet of Jesus. To call upon Him...to thank him for His Grace and Provisions. To be reminded that my needs in comparison to the needs of others is minute and that in the moment i am overwhelmed by my problem i am reminded of the much greater ones that surround me and the people of this world and the ones i love....
So...that my friends...is my current PAIN in the BUTT...
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
give a little...GIVE A LOT
There is a story in the Bible that i would gather most of us are pretty familiar with. The story of the Widows offering or also known as the Widows Mite. If you have never heard the story, the verses below will tell it.
Luke 21:1-4English Standard Version (ESV)
The Widow's Offering
21 Jesus[a] looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, 2 and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins.[b] 3 And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. 4 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”
I was reminded of this as i was reading a book this morning and felt the need to post on it. Lucky for you all, this will be short and sweet... unlike the majority of my posts. :-)
The truth that lies in this moment in history some thousands of years ago is that it's not about the bounty or amount or price that is upon what you give to the Lord as offering. It is about the heart. It is about giving the Lord all that you have...entrusting him with your riches, be it $1,000,000 or $1. God does not expect or desire one large set sum amount from the entire population of his flock...He wants us to be willing to relent what we do have and give him all with a heart of devotion and love.
This story was brought to life one day for me. I witnessed it with my own eyes. Actually, it was kinda like a multiple epiphany. A little over a month ago i was blessed to go to NYC on a mission trip for 12 days. One of the ministries we were a part of was an outdoor Bibleschool at a local park on Coney Island. It was not your typical BibleSchool we southern baptist people are most familiar with. It was held at a rec center in a park and rather than it being a ton of children from the church that was hosting it , it was random children and even some of their parents that just happened to be in the park or lived in that area. This majority being children and adults that did not attend church and did not have a personal relationship with Jesus.
When we got there, i met a sweet girl who was around the age of 9. She was such a beautiful girl and had the biggest warmest smile on her face. I sat down and began to talk to her and very quickly realized that this young girl hungered for God. Her faith was much greater than my own and her heart and craving for the Word was as well. She was not raised in church but was able to come to this Bible school and she loved it. She clung tightly to what she was taught about Jesus. Honestly, my words can not describe the Spirit and Power that was upon this young girl. As we continued to talk, she told me about all she had learned that week in Bible school. She showed me her notebook she carried with her to write EVERYTHING down in...and then she showed me something else so precious. She showed me a bag full o
f coins. Mostly pennies but lots and lots of them. She said that every night they took up and offering and that she could not wait to give her coins to the Lord. (Me=Mindblown/Gut-punched)
As the night began and Bible school progressed, we reached the end where offering was taken up. I watched my beautiful little friend Antoinette, joyfully yet so humbly, pour her coins of offering before the Lord. You have to understand that this young girl had very little raising or spiritual leading. Not coming from a financially stable homelife, walking to the park from a significant distance away . This was not just a child bringing change their parents gave them for offering...this was a child pouring her riches before the Lord. Riches that she had collected and kept safe...riches that she did not spend on a soda and candy or music or a doll. Money she had collected and saved over time waiting for this moment to selflessly lay them before the Lord without any hesitation, second guessing or doubt. This was the widow offering her last mites. An offering that the world would look at and say "what good is that going to do?" but an offering so RICH to the Lord that He places more value on that than the $1,000,000 donation given by the Multi-billionaire.
The Lord touched a part of my soul in that moment...it felt like time had stood still for a moment and i was witnessing a happening from long ago with the Savior. As if i was actually sitting beside Jesus witnessing the widow give her mite. It's moments like this where God's Word becomes more real than ever. When TRUTH becomes alive.
My prayer is that i would give selflessly of all that i have. That i would cherish nothing so much, that i am not willing to relinquish it and that i would cherish Him so much that i would relinquish it all...
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Working Out or Working IT Out
A year ago this month, i began a life-changing journey. At that time i honestly had no idea as to how it would really affect my life. It's funny because I don't think anyone close to me really had an idea. This time last year, i came to a fork in the road. I was the heaviest i had ever been which for my height was considered overweight. My weight gain did not help already diagnosed health problems like my lack of mobility with my left hip from a tear. Also, i had developed some significant stomach problems that had resulted in me being afraid to go and do things i would have normally been apart of before. Due to a very dark season prior, i also found myself in dark trench surrounded by anxiety, depression, and raging anger. And we all know that those emotions in general bring your quality of life down.
I came to a place in life where I was forced to embrace the misery that i was sinking in and continue down that road until... (dun dun dunn--insert miserable life story here) OR...I could totally change directions. I could take back the life I was blessed to have and life it the way the Lord was calling me to live it. Over the past year, i have kept off 25 lbs., become educated about health and nutrition, became a runner (this is still a work in progress), learned to cook healthy, happy, hearty meals, and been ever so faithful to my gym membership and daily exercise. And that my fellow readers is what brings me to this little write up... I am actually not writing about the adventurous journey i am on (although it's pretty blog worthy) but i wanting to share a bit about my WORK OUTS.
Ever since i became routine with working out last September, i realized how vital to my days it is. Just to give you an idea of what i do, i started out with just a High Intensity workout program called 9-Rounds. I must thank it for teaching me commitment and how to push my self physically. About 4 months ago i also got a gym membership to give me more access to weights and indoor cardio. I also began running back in December and fell in love with that. Now, I am actually more in the gym than anything doing weights and cardio and am actually a part of an awesome program my friend created for women. This program has challenged me greatly in the sense that it "don't play no games" as the saying says. It pushes you to find your limit and push a little past it each day. It also requires commitment and self discipline. I have realized in doing this program that before this, i really did not "work-out". I exercised daily, and don't get me wrong, i absolutely benefited from it. However, i was not doing what i consider to be "working-out".
And that brings me to a reality i have been pondering the past week. I think sometime there may be a negative connotation link to the term "working-out". I mean if you say you are exercising, that is general and paints a giant picture from going for a walk, swimming with the kids, doing an aerobics class, or playing tennis. (ALL AWESOME BENEFICIAL THINGS) But when i hear the phrase 'working out' the reoccurring picture that gets painted is a smelly gym with a bunch of beef heads pumping iron and taking their flex-selfies. I actually struggled with telling people i was going to work out because there were a few times not too long ago where people made there comments about not being as healthy as me or i guess more or less singled me out as if i put myself on a pedestal because of certain lifestyle choices. The other day though i began to think about it and to be honest this is my heart on the matter....
I WORK-OUT...and i LOVE it. It is a vital part of my day and if i don't get to and it's a day i should i am frustrated. BUT.... <--(key word here)
It's not because i feel like i am going to gain all my weight back again or lose muscle i have worked hard to get...it's because my WORK OUTs go so much deeper than the physical realm. My work out is a time where i get in a zone, put my headphones on, and blast the words and truth of my Heavenly Father. It's hours of listened to his word. It's time where i am physically working out my muscles but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, i am working out my fears, anxieties, stresses, questions, and concerns with my God. It is such a parallel for me, the physical and the spiritual. It's been moments during my workouts that i have heard the Lord speak to my heart and show me things I had not seen before. It's work outs that I am listening to all different types of Christian music and it's that one phrase i catch in between my catching breaths and water breaks that penetrates my deepest worries with the light of God's Truth.
When i go into the gym...YES...i go in there to do work. I don't want to come out unless i am sweaty-nasty-gross. But it's the same with my walk with the Lord. I don't want to leave until i have shredded every ounce of filth, sin, and crap that begins to build up throughout my days and clouds my heart and soul from loving and showing Jesus to others. I don't want to leave until i have praised God sooo much people are starting to think i am the crazy girl who wears headphones and talks to her self , every now and then raising her hands on the treadmill ( in praise) and randomly smiling in affirmation of the awesomeness of God-Almighty.
My work-outs mean the world to me. Do I think everyone in the gym thinks the way i do...NAHHHHH... do i think there is probably someone else in there actually using their time to refuel and strengthen their personal home of the Holy-Spirit? Absolutely... Do i think that people can get sooo obsessed with the physical aspect that it becomes their god and life? OF COURSE...do i pray against that everyday in my personal life... YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
I am so thankful for the many things God has done in my life over the past year. Just when i thought God had done His work by allowing me to achieve the physical accomplishments, He decided to rock my world and totally restore- renew- revive- and ignite the inside of my being. God is so good and nothing i write in this blog could ever do Him justice or express His goodness enough. It could never depict His strength and power. Only a personal encounter and experience can do that and that is my prayer. My prayer is that my life shouts of an experience with God...not just one life changing one, but one that takes place day in and day out. A constant encounter with the most-glorious, most high, God and Creator of the Universe...
Until next time...
PS::
Vinegar baths are clutch for WORK-OUT post recover :-p
I came to a place in life where I was forced to embrace the misery that i was sinking in and continue down that road until... (dun dun dunn--insert miserable life story here) OR...I could totally change directions. I could take back the life I was blessed to have and life it the way the Lord was calling me to live it. Over the past year, i have kept off 25 lbs., become educated about health and nutrition, became a runner (this is still a work in progress), learned to cook healthy, happy, hearty meals, and been ever so faithful to my gym membership and daily exercise. And that my fellow readers is what brings me to this little write up... I am actually not writing about the adventurous journey i am on (although it's pretty blog worthy) but i wanting to share a bit about my WORK OUTS.
Ever since i became routine with working out last September, i realized how vital to my days it is. Just to give you an idea of what i do, i started out with just a High Intensity workout program called 9-Rounds. I must thank it for teaching me commitment and how to push my self physically. About 4 months ago i also got a gym membership to give me more access to weights and indoor cardio. I also began running back in December and fell in love with that. Now, I am actually more in the gym than anything doing weights and cardio and am actually a part of an awesome program my friend created for women. This program has challenged me greatly in the sense that it "don't play no games" as the saying says. It pushes you to find your limit and push a little past it each day. It also requires commitment and self discipline. I have realized in doing this program that before this, i really did not "work-out". I exercised daily, and don't get me wrong, i absolutely benefited from it. However, i was not doing what i consider to be "working-out".
And that brings me to a reality i have been pondering the past week. I think sometime there may be a negative connotation link to the term "working-out". I mean if you say you are exercising, that is general and paints a giant picture from going for a walk, swimming with the kids, doing an aerobics class, or playing tennis. (ALL AWESOME BENEFICIAL THINGS) But when i hear the phrase 'working out' the reoccurring picture that gets painted is a smelly gym with a bunch of beef heads pumping iron and taking their flex-selfies. I actually struggled with telling people i was going to work out because there were a few times not too long ago where people made there comments about not being as healthy as me or i guess more or less singled me out as if i put myself on a pedestal because of certain lifestyle choices. The other day though i began to think about it and to be honest this is my heart on the matter....
I WORK-OUT...and i LOVE it. It is a vital part of my day and if i don't get to and it's a day i should i am frustrated. BUT.... <--(key word here)
It's not because i feel like i am going to gain all my weight back again or lose muscle i have worked hard to get...it's because my WORK OUTs go so much deeper than the physical realm. My work out is a time where i get in a zone, put my headphones on, and blast the words and truth of my Heavenly Father. It's hours of listened to his word. It's time where i am physically working out my muscles but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, i am working out my fears, anxieties, stresses, questions, and concerns with my God. It is such a parallel for me, the physical and the spiritual. It's been moments during my workouts that i have heard the Lord speak to my heart and show me things I had not seen before. It's work outs that I am listening to all different types of Christian music and it's that one phrase i catch in between my catching breaths and water breaks that penetrates my deepest worries with the light of God's Truth.
When i go into the gym...YES...i go in there to do work. I don't want to come out unless i am sweaty-nasty-gross. But it's the same with my walk with the Lord. I don't want to leave until i have shredded every ounce of filth, sin, and crap that begins to build up throughout my days and clouds my heart and soul from loving and showing Jesus to others. I don't want to leave until i have praised God sooo much people are starting to think i am the crazy girl who wears headphones and talks to her self , every now and then raising her hands on the treadmill ( in praise) and randomly smiling in affirmation of the awesomeness of God-Almighty.
My work-outs mean the world to me. Do I think everyone in the gym thinks the way i do...NAHHHHH... do i think there is probably someone else in there actually using their time to refuel and strengthen their personal home of the Holy-Spirit? Absolutely... Do i think that people can get sooo obsessed with the physical aspect that it becomes their god and life? OF COURSE...do i pray against that everyday in my personal life... YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
I am so thankful for the many things God has done in my life over the past year. Just when i thought God had done His work by allowing me to achieve the physical accomplishments, He decided to rock my world and totally restore- renew- revive- and ignite the inside of my being. God is so good and nothing i write in this blog could ever do Him justice or express His goodness enough. It could never depict His strength and power. Only a personal encounter and experience can do that and that is my prayer. My prayer is that my life shouts of an experience with God...not just one life changing one, but one that takes place day in and day out. A constant encounter with the most-glorious, most high, God and Creator of the Universe...
Until next time...
PS::
Vinegar baths are clutch for WORK-OUT post recover :-p
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