A DOP TION

adop·tion                                             

: the act or process of adopting a child
: the act or process of beginning to use something new or different

: the act or process of giving official acceptance or approval to something

 

 

If you are close to me you probably have an idea of my heart on this topic. For those of you who may not know, well...you will after you read this. Ever since I was a child, when asked how many children I wanted when I grew up, I always responded with, "I am not having children. I am adopting." Then it was laughed at and thought of as cute...Now, 15 years later I say the same thing. For some reason I seem to feel it is not taken in the same light.

 

Over the past few years, I have really examined my heart on this issue. I realize that I am only 23 and I am still growing and learning. I realize that I also am not God and do not put the stars in their place nor can I tell what the future beholds. However, I do know that the most important thing in my life is my Faith in Jesus Christ. I know that I seek to honor the Lord with my life and actions (although I fall short of this so often). I know that I myself was adopted (NOT PHYSICALLY) spiritually by The Lord and am called a child of God. I know that He chose me and without him I was lost and wandering aimlessly without a hope or future. I was spiritually blind and disabled without his saving Grace.

 

 I know that the word orphan is referenced 41 times in the old testament. Adoption is referenced over 40 times in the new testament. I know that in 2011, there were $1,413 children in SC alone waiting to be adopted. According to the 2012 Census Bureau, the estimated adult population for SC was 1,417,117.  In 2011 only 585 children were adopted. I know that there is an estimated 153 MILLION orphans in the world.

 

I can not begin to tell you the burden my heart feels for these children. Children of all ages who may or may not ever grow up in a warm loving protected home. Children who may not live to see adulthood or may never have the opportunity to go to college or for some even attend school. When I think of my family years from now and my children years from now, I see diversity. I see children from all backgrounds and ethnicities. Children with special needs and children without. When asked how many children I want, my answer is as many as I can care for spiritually, emotionally, and physically. If that is 1 child then it's 1 child. If it is 20 children then it is 20 children. And if it 0 children then it is 0 children. I guess what really makes me stand out in all this is when I think of my future children I think adoption. When I think of having children my mind goes directly to the adoption process. Okay...I am beating around the bush enough. I will say what most people do not understand. I am 100% content to never birth a child. I am perfectly content, as some people would say, to never have my "own" children. (and btw I do not like it when people reference it that way)

 

I know this is surprising. I have honestly heard it all. I have been told I am not a real woman if I do not want to have my "own" children and something is wrong in my head. I have been told that I am young and just don't know yet. I have been told I am just scared to deliver a child. And be a select few, I have been told that it's awesome and they respect that.

 

In response to all the above: 1) I may be a little off in the head but not because I want to adopt :-)

2.) I am young, but I know what I feel in my heart and soul verses what I feel in my head (also ask anyone who knows me- I may be 23 but I have the mind and soul of an 83 year old :-)

3.) No I do not like pain (as most people don't) but COME ON...if you think that something like that would be my reason for something like THIS...then you really do not know me

 

Realizing that my heart and souls desires were not the norm, this was one of the first serious conversations I had with my fiancé/soon to be hubby Josh. I understand that children and family is a huge deal and an important topic to be on the same page with. And I see now that I am a minority when it comes to my feelings. I will say I was very nervous in having the conversation and chose to have it pretty early into our relationship to avoid a possible volcano eruption later down the road. I was not sure what to expect when I told Josh how I felt and that I really had no desire to Birth children but really wanted to adopt. I was touched and blessed when Josh looked at me a said " Sweet. Sounds good to me!" Of course at the time I took that as a first step and left it alone. I mean hey it was better than " You are not a woman and something is mentally wrong with you!" Since then we have re-evaluated the topic and conversation. I have asked on repeat if he was sure that he could live his whole life if the only children we had were through adoption. He said OF COURSE. Over time I have watched his passion and heart grow for adoption. I have watched him go from being okay with it, to being the one to bring up ideas about which children the Lord had picked out for us to adopt.

 

I have struggled with this feeling and leading for a long time now. I have searched scripture and guidance. I do believe that as Christians and Followers of Christ we are all called to care for the orphans in some way shape or form. I believe that look different for everyone. For some it may mean praying diligently for the orphans out there as well for those opening up their homes to them. For some it may be financially supporting a child and for others it may mean actually bringing a child into your home and family. I believe that God has laid this so heavily and passionately on my heart for a reason. Don't misread this and think that I think I can control the future. I do not say all this to say I will NEVER bear my own child. I am NOT God and only He knows that. I say this to say that my heart is focused on adoption. When we think of our first child, we think of adoption. When we think of our 2nd child, we think of adoption. It's what has been placed upon OUR heart and soul. It is what OUR personal convictions lead US to. I also understand that their are so many women out there who would give anything to be able to bear a child and can not, and I hurt for them. I understand why this may be hard for someone in that place to understand. Heck, I didn't understand it for a while.

 

All I know is I find JOY in knowing my heart and knowing what I feel the Lord leading and doing. I find JOY in hearing stories of adoption and hope. I feel JOY in seeing the testimony of adoption in peoples lives who have been touched by it personally. I feel JOY knowing that my Savior chose to adopt me. That he chose to make me His Own. And I feel Joy in the confidence of my heart that I have in sharing this with the world.

 

I know this was long and random but with marriage coming up...When are yall going to HAVE a baby? is such a common question. I figured this might answer that for some people.

 

"He predestined us to be adopted as his sons
through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—"
Ephesians 1:5 (NIV)

 

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Psalm 82:3